Hello there! So, I have a small, largely inconsequential confession to make in regards to the spooky season: I have only been to one haunted house in the entirety of my life.

I know this is earthshaking news.

But in any case, after I completed my venture, I vowed that never again would my foot cross another therapy-inducing threshold, because I learned a great truth about myself that night: I am a grade-A wuss.

However, just because I can’t handle clowns with axes getting too close to my face doesn’t mean that you can’t. And I am all too happy to help you with that endeavor, provided it’s from the safety of my apartment. With the lights on. And the chain is drawn. So, without further ado, here’s a list of all the haunted houses in Northern Colorado for your viewing pleasure, whether you’re a thrill-seeker or you’ve got some friendly bets to settle.

1) Fear of the Dark: Prison Break

Location: 217 West Horsetooth Road, Fort Collins, CO Chipper’s Lanes is back at it again and they didn’t come to play. Each October, Chipper’s turns its laser tag arena into 2 stories of terror, providing 3,000 sq. ft. of creepiness that’s sure to make you genuinely worry about getting turned around. And this time, they’ve decided to add all the chaos of a prison break to the event, declaring that visitors’ greatest challenge will be to survive. Tickets are $20 per person, though bundles and discounts might also be an option if you’re a bit strapped for cash. Keep in mind, though, Chipper’s haunted houses are highly in demand and actually ask that you call ahead to make reservations, which you can do by calling (970) 226-6327 or visiting their Facebook page.  Here are the dates Prison Break will be open:

Weekend One

  • October 18: 9 pm to Midnight
  • October 19: 8 pm to Midnight
  • October 20: 5 pm to 9 pm

Weekend Two

  • October 25: 9 pm to Midnight
  • October 26: 8 pm to Midnight
  • October 27: 5 pm to 9 pm

2) Creepy Walk in the Woods

Location: 1750 Savage Road, Loveland, CO

OK, so this one isn’t a haunted house per se, but it IS a horror extravaganza that I think is made all the more creepy for being in the great outdoors. After all, who wouldn’t want to experience Hansel and Gretel crossed with “Cabin in the Woods”? Yeah, exactly. Creepy Walk in the Woods also ties a story to its haunted acres, telling how the Savage Woods were once sacred land—that is, until the place was cursed, leaving the forest’s haunting denizens to wander the trees forevermore. It’s also good to note that the park recommends that kids be 11 or older, nor do they allow pets to accompany you on your trek. Admission is $20 and the gates open at 6 p.m. each night, while tours begin at 7 p.m. Here are the dates you can go visit the sketchiest woods in Colorado:

Weekend One

  • October 18
  • October 19

Weekend Two

  • October 25
  • October 26

3) Terror in the Corn

Location: 6728 County Rd 3 1/4, Erie, CO Once you enter the grounds of Anderson Farms, you’d best be on your guard if you’re planning on walking back out again. This event is not your traditional haunted house, nor a traditional corn maze, but an unholy combination of the two. Beginning with an interactive trailer ride that drops you off in the center of a shadowed corn maze and culminating in a visit to a haunted ghost town, visitors must survive the machinations of the devious Wells Twins, a pair of unhinged siblings who delight in tormenting their victims. Entry is $27, and for an additional $27, you can join a Zombie Paintball Hunt where you defend Anderson Farms from a zombie incursion. With the purchase of a Terror in the Corn ticket, you also gain entry to Anderson Farm’s Fall Fest, which might be a bit more of a kid’s speed. Here’s your dates and times if you want to get spooky in a cornfield:

Weekend One

    • October 18: 7-11 p.m.
    • October 19: 7-11 p.m.
    • October 20: 7-10 p.m.

Weekend Two

    • October 24: 7-10 p.m.
    • October 25: 7-11 p.m.
    • October 26: 7-11 p.m.
    • October 27: 7-10 p.m.

Weekend Three

    • October 31: 7-10 p.m.
    • November 1: 7-11 p.m.
    • November 2: 7-11 p.m.

4) HAAunted House

Location: 315 E 4th St Loveland, CO

Ah, here we go, a classic haunted house who’s just here to have a good time. Hosted by the Harrington Alliance for the Arts, which is a local non-profit that aims to help anyone and everyone participate in the arts, The HAAunted House is Loveland’s only indoor haunted house. In all honesty, I couldn’t find much information on the theme of this year’s haunted house, nor what all you can expect if you visit.  But if I had to guess, I’d say there will probably be clowns – because there’s always clowns. If you want to go discover what flavor of fiendish horror The HAA has in store for yourself, tickets are $12 for kids 11 and under and $15 for all those 12 and up. They’ll also give you special rates for big groups if you think fear should always be a group activity. Here are the dates and times you can go get scared for a good cause:

Weekend One

  • October 18: 6-11 p.m.
  • October 19: 6-11 p.m.

Weekend Two

  • October 25: 6-11 p.m.
  • October 26: 6-11 p.m.
  • October 27: 6-9 p.m.

Weekend Three

  • October 31: 6-10 p.m.

5) Scream Acres

Location:  20861 CR 33, LaSalle, CO

Finally, last but most certainly not least, Scream Acres is presenting 2 freaky attractions as part of their Halloween festivities. Besides their haunted corn maze, which is supposed to be fabulous all by itself, Scream Acres has brought back one of its favorite haunts, The Ashes of Creation. In addition, they also have a brand-new exhibit, Silver Screams – but you can only see that second one if you buy a combo pass for both Ashes of Creation and Silver Screams. Either way, Scream Acres has got both indoor and outdoor haunts and a zombie paintball course to round out your night. The paintball course costs $6 to do, Ashes of Creation costs $26.99 (as long as you buy tickets online), and doing both haunts costs $44.95 (once again, assuming you buy tickets online). Here are the dates you’ll be looking at if you want to go:

Weekend One

  • October 18: 6-10 p.m.
  • October 19: 6-10 p.m.

Weekend Two

  • October 23: 6-9 p.m.
  • October 24: 6-9 p.m.
  • October 25: 6-10 p.m.
  • October 26: 6-10 p.m.

Weekend Three

  • October 30: 6-9 p.m.
  • October 31: 6-9 p.m.
  • November 1: 6-10 p.m.
  • November 2: 6-10 p.m.

So, there you have it. I will not be seeing any of you there, but I applaud you brave souls who are willing to test their mettle for the sheer fun of it. Happy Halloween!