If Colorado Towns Were High School Students
Thinking back to high school, you wonder how so many different kinds of kids could end up in the same building and manage to coexist. During a strange high school flashback, I wondered, what would Colorado cities and towns be like if they were high school students?
Aspen - She's smart, looks like a model, always wears the latest fashions, drives an expensive hybrid and is head cheerleader. Her parents are filthy rich and if you're not in her league, you're nobody.
Vail - She's everything Aspen is except she drives an SUV with every option available. She's a bit more approachable, but all of her real friends are rich, too. She also likes to say she's one of Aspen's best friends.
Gunnison and Rifle - The brothers drive around in their dad's hand-me-down 4x4 truck with the gun rack and NRA sticker on the back window. Everyone knows you don't take firearms to school and everyone thinks they do. They don't, but in daddy's gun safe are some fine hunting rifles.
Denver - His ego is bigger than you can imagine and still growing. In spite of his faults, he has the charisma and charm that always gets him voted class president, head boy, and prom king.
Grand Junction - He's like two different people merged into one. He's brilliant in school, but you question the rationale of some of his choices. His friends can occasionally get him to see the faulty logic. Still, your grandfather says your friend, Grand Junction, 'ain't got no horse sense.'
Montrose - Wants to be Grand Junction. This kid, tired of feeling like the ignored stepchild, follows and studies everything Grand Junction does. He tries not only to do it, but do it better. He's had enough success that people are starting to give him some attention.
The Springs - Five boys and four girls named Steamboat, Glenwood, Poncha, Idaho, Hot Sulpher, Olney, Manitou, Pagosa, and Colorado. There's a Springs in every high school grade plus a few that have already graduated and moved to various parts of the state. If the trend continues, you won't be able to go anywhere in Colorado without running into one.
Egnar (Range) and Rangely - The brother-sister twins are about as down to earth and likable as any kids you've ever met. There are some things that make you think they're weird though, like the fact that Range wants you to call him Egnar. He even writes it on all of his schoolwork.
Golden - President of the math club, science club, chess club, National Honor Society and probably a candidate for MENSA. He's also a party animal and a genius at scoring 'beverages' for himself and anyone who wants to ante up.
The Forts - These two brothers and sister are as opposite as anyone could ever get. Fort Morgan is in FFA, easy-going, and headed to college so he can learn how to own and operate a huge ranch and farm. Fort Lupton loves JROTC, is serious, laser focused, has his sights set on West Point. Fort Collins is hip, a member of FBLA, and going to college so she can be president of the country's biggest bank.
Boulder - This kid somehow has 4.0 GPA, is a proponent of all things friendly to the earth, and has parents with enough money to buy him a $5,000 bicycle, a new car for graduation, pay for college, and a big enough supply of Mary Jane that they'll never know if a little goes missing.
Greeley and Swink - These are the kids who never take their gym clothes home to get them washed. There's also some question about how often they bathe. Because of the smell, students have nicknamed Swink, Stink. They are likable enough, and if you can get past the odor, Greeley and Swink are really fun to hang out with.
Telluride - She wears funky clothes, very little makeup, and is totally different from everyone else. Telluride is so offbeat you either make it a point to steer clear or are totally in love with her. Her family has tons of money, but you'd never know it by the way she looks and acts.