There are lots of things you can do to be a good neighbor, but here are five surefire ways to totally irritate your neighbors.
You would think that everyone wants to be a good neighbor. Most of us live in close proximity to our neighbors. They are almost like relatives. They are going to be there whether you like it or not, so you might as well make the best of it and try to get along.
But the reality is there are people in Grand Junction that thrive on being a bad neighbor. These are people who obviously don't live in Mr. Rogers' Neighborhood - and I doubt they wear cardigans.
Maybe you are one of these.
You want to be a bad neighbor but you aren't exactly sure how to go about it and you could use some pointers. Well, never fear. I am here to offer you some simple advice on the easiest ways to totally irritate your neighbors and to ensure that their lives will be completely miserable and you win the award for being the worst neighbor in Grand Junction.
Loud music -- even if it's good music -- is one of the quickest ways to irritate your neighbors. Whether it's coming from your car, the house, or garage, loud music will obnoxiously invade their living space including their yard as well as the inside of their house. There's no escaping it.
For best results, be sure the music is blaring early on Saturday morning or late at night. Oh, and be sure you have the bass level turned way up so that they can get the whole vibration effect.
Your dog can be your best ally when it comes to irritating your neighbors. There is nothing like the incessant barking of a dog at all hours of the day and night to foster bad relations between neighbors.
And if that's not enough to get your neighbors fuming, feel free to let your dog deposit souvenirs from breakfast on your neighbor's lawn and just leave it there. You'll have your neighbor red-faced angry at you in no time.
USE YOUR FRONT YARD AS A JUNK YARD
It's your yard, so do with it as you please. That means parking junked cars there, and littering your porch and yard with old appliances and furniture, tires, scrap iron, run-down bicycles, and other treasures that you could deposit in the landfill.
Leaving junk in your yard is much more convenient than hauling it off to the landfill or recycling it. Who knows, maybe people will think you're having a yard sale and will want to buy some of your stuff.
Their business is your business, so be sure and stare at the neighbors every chance you get. It's critical that you know exactly what they're up to every minute of the day.
Whether they are doing stuff in the yard or just getting home from work, you will be successful at making them feel ridiculously uncomfortable if you will just stare silently at them until they disappear from view. Don't speak. Just stare.
HOST A LOUD LATE NIGHT PARTY
Again, it's your yard so feel free to host a loud party that lasts late into the night, well past the time that most people would be in bed. The loud music, yelling, and laughing will be an easy way to irritate several neighbors at once.
Oh, and just for good measure, you might want to go ahead and set off a few fireworks at 2:00 a.m. just to ensure that nobody in the neighborhood is getting a good night's rest. And, be sure and host these outdoor parties as frequently as possible and invite the rowdiest friends you have.