On last night's 'Conan,' guest Sharon Osbourne did the unthinkable and made host Conan O'Brien uncomfortable -- talking to him about how she plans to give Prince Charles a blowie in exchange for a title, rubbing the knees of everyone in rubbing distance, and explaining how she and husband Ozzy are terrible at putting out fires.

First up: the schtupping, with Sharon explaining to Conan that if you have sex with (or just orally service) Prince Charles, you're given the title of Dame. (We're not sure if there's any truth to that, but we'll ask Dame Judi Dench if she has any naughty needlepoint about it and get back to you.)

Watch the entire video above to see how Sharon Osbourne proposed a couples swap, and how she fondles Prince Charles when they're eating dinner together.

Then watch the video below to find out just how inept Sharon and Ozzy are at putting out fires. Although to be fair, if Howard Stern hadn't bought them that oil candle in the first place, none of this would have ever happened.

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