An Open Letter To Those Thinking About Moving To Colorado
WARNING: This article is oozing with sarcasm. If you can't take a joke please stop reading.
If you are thinking about moving to Colorado or you know someone that is, don't. Just don't do it. The state has been growing exponentially over the past couple of decades in fact, since 2010, over 745,000 people have moved to Colorado and while there are still plenty of wide open spaces to squeeze in more people, you're not wanted here so just stay away.
Not to be rude but seriously we don't want you and don't need you here and if at all possible, it would be best if you just picked another state to move to.
Housing prices have gone through the roof, traffic is a royal pain in the "you-know-what," our air quality has suffered and hiking trails are overpacked with people, many of whom have no idea about trail etiquette or respect for Colorado's great outdoors.
This is just one example of what I'm talking about--
Now, am I 100% positive this was left by someone, not from Colorado? No, but I'm about 99.2% sure because a true, respectable Coloradan would never do something stupid like this, right?!
So if you know someone thinking about moving to Colorado, warn them and tell them how horrible it is here. The weather, the scenery, and the quality of life isn't all cracked up to what it's said to be and the locals don't want you here.
This is the way we're going to slow down the growth here and stop people from moving here, we have to flat out tell them, that no Colorado sucks, and here's why.
Let's go over a few of the key points to hit up when you're discouraging people from moving here and why Colorado is so "horrible" and why someone should really think long and hard about relocating here.
Ok, that was actually pretty hard for me to say those things because I truly don't believe them but in order to get people to stop moving here, we need to tell them these types of things.
Those are just a few things you can start with to throw at people who are thinking about moving here. If we all work together and lie the best we can about how life sucks in Colorado, maybe just maybe, we can make this work.