We Asked ChatGPT to Roast Denver and AI Didn’t Hold Back

We have been having so much fun with these roasts of Colorado towns by ChatGPT, we had to do another one. This time, The Mile High City is getting roasted by artificial intelligence. Denver is a great city, but it does have some issues. Crime, homelessness, and high-priced real estate are all issues that the capital city of Colorado faces.

The Comedic Roast of Denver, Colorado Done By ChatGPT

The roast of Denver starts by taking a jab at the elevation and some of the residents that call Denver home.

Ah, Denver, Colorado—where everyone’s either high on weed or high on their own self-importance. The Mile-High City: because apparently, they think altitude is a personality trait. Denver's like, “Yeah, we’re 5,280 feet above sea level, isn’t that cool?” No, Denver, it’s just harder to breathe, and not because of the views—it's because of all the tech bros talking about their startups. You can’t walk into a brewery without some guy in a Patagonia jacket explaining how he’s “disrupting the artisanal soap industry.” Cool, Chad. Just shut up and pass the IPA that tastes like pine needles and regret.

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And the weather, oh, don’t even get me started on the weather. Denver’s the only place where you can experience all four seasons in a single afternoon. One minute, you're in a t-shirt enjoying 70-degree sunshine, and the next, you're scraping six inches of snow off your car while the wind tries to slap you into Wyoming. “But it’s a dry heat!” Yeah, and a dry snow, and a dry apocalypse. Denver weather is like a confused intern at Mother Nature’s office, just hitting random buttons for fun.

Are Denver residents really big outdoor enthusiasts or do they just say they spend a lot of time outdoors? ChatGPT thinks that many of the residents of Denver couldn't last a single day in the great outdoors.

The city's got this big outdoorsy vibe, right? Everyone’s constantly bragging about how close they are to the mountains. “We go hiking every weekend!” Oh, do you, Denver? Or do you just drive your Subaru Outback to the trailhead, take a selfie with a water bottle you haven’t touched, and call it a day? Let’s be honest: most of you couldn’t survive 20 minutes outside your Whole Foods without Wi-Fi and kombucha. “We love nature,” they say, while living in condos so expensive that only a tech CEO or a trust fund baby could afford to look at a mountain without getting evicted.

ChatGPT closes out the roast of Denver by setting its sights on the downtown area of the Mile High City. We won't argue with this viewpoint, because it rings all too true.

RELATED: CHATGPT ROASTS ESTES PARK, COLORADO

And let’s not forget downtown Denver. It’s like if a frat party and a craft fair had a love child and then immediately abandoned it. The streets are filled with “entrepreneurs” who’ve never actually started anything, except maybe a yoga studio in their garage. The 16th Street Mall? It’s basically a never-ending strip of chain stores, homeless camps, and questionable street performers. One minute you’re dodging a guy on a unicycle, the next, you’re trying to figure out if that’s a protest or just someone screaming about the Broncos. Denver: come for the nature, stay because the housing market trapped you in a $2,500-a-month studio apartment with a “mountain view” that’s actually just a parking lot.

There are still plenty of cities and towns for artificial intelligence to roast. Which Colorado town would you like to see roasted next? Let us know and send us a message on the app now.