Happy 40th, Melissa Joan Hart! Here are 10 Things You Said to an Animatronic Cat
If signage encompassing a Nutrisystem-sponsored step and repeat is to be believed, today (April 18) is actress Melissa Joan Hart's 40th birthday. Happy 40th birthday, Melissa Joan Hart! Here's hoping you spend it with family, friends and the enduring memory that you spent your early- to mid-20s having earnest conversations with an animatronic cat.
Yes, 20 years ago, just before Hart's 20th birthday, Sabrina, The Teenage Witch premiered on the WB. The show followed a 16-year-old half-witch named Sabrina Spellman, who lived a typical high-school student's life with a few exceptions: she could raise the dead, constantly risked accidentally turning her mother into a ball of wax and routinely asked the family pet for advice. Salem was an aspiring fascist dictator, so this often led to zany plot lines and real FCC-sanctioned tomfoolery.
What do a teenage girl and a warlord with dormant ringworm talk about? Let the 10 quotes below — famously uttered by Sabrina to Salem — clue you in.
Happy birthday, MJH!
"You're in a chat room again pretending to be a woman, aren't you?"
In fairness, he had been. A/S/L, Salem?
"Salem, what do boys talk about when girls aren't around?"
WHAT IS THIS THE INQUISITION?
"I can't believe how comfortable I am. I'm never wearing a bra again!"
Your mouth to an animatronic cat's ears, MJH.
"I smell sardines on your breath. Salem, you ate my time ball!"
SO SICK OF SALEM EATING THE TIME BALL.
"What's the matter, Salem? Ringworm got you down?"
This is an objectively mean thing to say to a cat.
"A heavy heart, beloved, have I borne from year to year."
Maybe the better question is why doesn't your cat know the poetry of Elizabeth Browning.
"Salem, you're not in the mafia. It was just a rumor!"
"Salem! How many catnip mai tais have you had?!"
WHAT, ARE YOU COUNTING, SABRINA?
"Hey Salem, when did you start painting?"
No opposable thumbs, no problem AMIRITE.
"Do you think anyone would believe I have a live ferret in my bra?"
The lingerie fascination was real...
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