Just when you thought the criminal IQ couldn' go any lower, someone tries to rob a bank in Clifton using the drive-through teller window.

I can practically hear the teller's hysterical laugh behind the thick, break and bullet proof, glass while making a call to 911 to report an attempted robbery by someone sitting in his car at the bank's drive-through.

At 11:23 a.m. on Friday (September 23) a man wearing a mask pulled into the drive-through at Alpine Bank, 3243 I-70 Business Loop in Clifton and gave the teller a plastic grocery bag and a note demanding $50,000.

Unlike the hapless robber, the teller being of sound mind called 911 and wouldn't give the man the $50,000 unless he filled out a bank withdrawal form and provided photo ID. (Ok, except for the 911 part I'm only speculating, but considering what I have to do to withdraw money, this is possible.)

The robber's streak of bad luck continued as he pulled out of the bank drive-through and into the hands of Palisade Police Officers who were in the area. Why Palisade Police Officers were in Clifton is unknown, but being in the right place at the right time is all that really matters.

JOHN WORSHAM 9-25-16
Mesa County Sheriff's Office
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The suspect, (official police terminology) 49-year-old John Worsham was arrested without incident and no weapons were found during the arrest or found later by investigators.

Worsham was taken to the Mesa County Detention Facility and charged with Attempted Robbery, a class 5 felony.

Other charges may follow if police can figure out how to charge the suspect as a moron. (Yeah, I made that up too.)

The story above is a humorous report of the event and not meant to lessen the fact that attempted bank robbery is a very serious crime.

 

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